It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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