Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
