you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
