chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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