yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
