U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am naked and annoyed.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
