We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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