So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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