he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
