i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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