everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
