how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize