Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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