No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
