I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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