If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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