from now on my penis is your penis
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
