I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
