they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
