I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So squirting runs in the family.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
