I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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