Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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