Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
