So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When did angry sex become our thing?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
