Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
