I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
