Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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