Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
