There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
