yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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