sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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