You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
