Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
