I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
