You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
