FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
