I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
