I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
