Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
