when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
