Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
