Having a random hookup so left but love u
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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