i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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