Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I smell like Dick and happiness
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
