Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
