OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
