Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
