ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
