brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just took my morning after pill in the library
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
