I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
