What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
