Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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